Firstly I really do want to thank ALL of you wonderful people that left comments and sent e-mails about my last post. I know I'm not the only one that feels out of kilter at the moment and that you all agree that being a Mum is hard. Juggling all those things, trying to maintain some sort of sanity, getting time to yourself and with your partner is hard. I'm sure we could each write an essay on the subject - something like 'Being a stay-at-home Mum can lead to losing self confidence - Discuss'. The very mention of that word discuss propells me straight back to the classroom but don't worry I'm not going to write an essay. I don't think I ever could these days.
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of thinking as you know and I've decided that I'm not going to stop blogging because I do love it. I think that I'm just going to slow down a bit at the moment because it's not a major thing in my life right now. I still have builders around - can you believe it's been eleven weeks! They have achieved quite a lot:
but there is still a lot more to do. (Tom called one to express his concern over the length of time everything was taking and it seems that the job has been going on for that long but all told they've only really done five weeks of work due to the weather etc). The porch is looking nice from the outside though but the inside will be revealing itself slowly over the coming week - I hope. This is what it looks like at the moment:
and the garden in case you were wondering:
and the other side:
So what with builders, the time of year AND time of the month which seems to be affecting me more of late (must be my age) I'm not surprised I've been feeling as I have. You've all been marvelously supportive though and I really do appreciate it. It was great reading all your comments and suggestions and many I have taken on board. I also got a lovely cross stitched card from Simone and a gorgeous package from Val, and lovely parcels from Sarah and Wylie too - you're all such nice friends.
So, what have we been up to in the last week? Well, Friday was Michaelmas and celebrated at school with assembly and kite flying on the common. As luck would have it Tom was in London so the morning saw me shopping for food for the weekend, madly looking for a kite and packing a picnic. Not a great way to start the weekend. Luckily, I had found a recipe for Moroccan Baked Potato Skins on Marie's blog so I made those instead of sandwiches but I left the cake on the kitchen table! By the way Sarah has written a really interesting piece about this festival so do go and have a look - it's here and here is a pic of the nature table at the moment (finally got around to doing it):
On Sunday morning I went into rant mode for some reason after discovering that my children didn't know the hymn 'To Plough the Fields and Scatter'. I asked them if they had sung it on Friday (it is harvest time as well as Michaelmas). Never heard of it they said. What? You don't know this beautiful hymn? So I printed it off the computer as I can only ever remember the first verse of most hymns and sang it to them over breakfast and then at lunch and finally, to shut me up I suppose Rohan joined in as he'd memorised the words by then. What a bore I am. Do you think my children are very confused? On the one hand I've been brought up in a VERY traditional Indian way and then I love hymns and carols. I have no family tradition of singing them and of course we didn't go to church either (my parents are Sikhs if you remember) but I always loved singing hymns in assembly. Rohan said he could imagine me singing earnestly with two black, shiny plaits dangling on either side of my head. Yep, that was me. There was a piece in the Telegraph about hymns coincidentally. I can't find the actual article that I read but a search led me to this, this, this and this. Do you like singing hymns? Do you have a favourite? I have many but I think 'When A Knight Won His Spurs' has to be up there for me. Oh my gosh I just googled the title and it led me to this YouTube video and goose pimples when I listened to it.
OK, now that you're in a nice relaxed, contemplative mood let me shatter it by showing you my latest purchase and showing you some different YouTube clips. I bought an i-pod off eBay:
and last night I sewed up this little case for it (hardly taxing) - it's made from (Dylon) dyed blanket:
and then quite a few hours choosing music to put on it. I had such fun. I copied some stuff off Cd's we already had and then I downloaded a bit more off i-tunes. Just to make sure I really wanted to pay 79 pence for any song I checked it out on YouTube first. So I looked up things like Happy Hour by the Housemartins, Something About You by Level 42, Buffalo Stance by Neneh Cherry, They Don't Know About Love by Tracey Ullman - do click on that link - great song and great video, Heart of Gold by Neal Young and so many more that I didn't buy (yet). Like Squeeze, Belinda Carlisle, Haircut 100 (remember them?), Tears for Fears, Bananarama, Kirsty MaColl, Simple Minds, the Mammas and Pappas - the list goes on. Can't you tell that I was in my teens in the late 70's/early 80's?
Well, the ipod was a great purchase as it made me walk yesterday morning and I downloaded a couple of podcasts to listen to on this morning's walk too. So at least it'll get me taking exercise. By the way if you have any podcasts that you recommend I'd love to hear about them?
So now you can see what a zany woman I am - singing hymns one minute, having a crisis another and listening to Neneh Cherry the next minute. As one lady said in my comments ' so glad to see you're normal just like the rest of us' - did you ever think I wasn't?
Oh I am so glad you are still blogging, I have been back to look at and think about your last post so many times since you wrote it, I kept formulating my comment but couldn't express myself properly, so much of what you wrote rang my own bells.
I am chuckling away at the thought of you "ploughing the fields and scattering". I too love hymns but was brought up in quite an anti-religion way. Sadly I have no singing voice but I never let it stop me belting out the hymns in school assembly to the great embarassment of my friends in line with me. Sing Hosannah is a big favourite of mine, in fact I feel a rendition coming on right now. Thanks for the daily cheer.
Posted by: Rebecca | October 03, 2007 at 12:44 PM
Ah Simmy, so good to have you back. I think it is wonderful that you enjoy hymns. Being brought up in a very secular way I don't know any...but I love Christmas carols. In fact I made a huge mistake when Matt and I were getting married and his religious mother asked if I'd like any hymns at the wedding. The only one I know (and I love it) is "Abide with me" which of course is for funerals...but I didn't know that.
Did you read my post about singing around the campfire? You're not the only one shoving "culture" down your kids' necks. As for the Ipod- you go girl! I thought I would never want one, until I got a free shuffle when we signed up for satelite TV. I love it...but I wanted to be able to choose what I wanted to listen to. Oscar has recently upgraded to the new one that holds 20,000 songs and he gave me his old nano. And guess what?...it's full already. But I love being able to escape into my music sometimes. I use it at the gym of course, but last night after my horrid day I was able to just lie in bed and get in a totally different frame of mind. So well done! I totally approve (not that you need my approval).
Posted by: Georgia | October 03, 2007 at 01:38 PM
Missed you, Simmy- was so glad to see a new post this morning... no wonder you're out of sorts with all the construction. So funny about the i-pod music... we were out for dinner without the kids on Saturday night and it was all the same music that you put on your i-pod... it's been quite awhile since I heard Neneh Cherry in a public place.
Posted by: melody | October 03, 2007 at 01:39 PM
So glad you're sticking around and sounding so much happier.
I love hymns, they are so evocative. Dear Lord and Father of Mankind - so stirring.
Mark's harvest festival is on Friday, but his favourite is a little ditty about broad beans!?!
Posted by: Ali | October 03, 2007 at 01:41 PM
Simmy--You got me completely sucked into ridiculous utube when I'm trying to work! tsk tsk. I really liked the Knight song and am going to share it with school.
Posted by: Sarah | October 03, 2007 at 05:01 PM
YAY! You're back! Awesome! You go, girl! The porch looks beautiful. So nice to have an entry way. I love hymns, too. I have lots of favorites, but one of them definitely is "I Sing A Song of the Saints of God," do you have that in the Anglican hymnal? Also, one from your hymnal I love is called "Lord Jesus Christ," very beautiful.
Exciting about the Ipod. I'll check out the links later. Hugs and love.....
Posted by: Wylie Hunt | October 03, 2007 at 06:34 PM
Dear Simmy,
my favorite hymm is "And Can it be That I Should Gain" I can't sing or read it without getting teary with graditude. Glad your back!
Love,
Jodi
Posted by: jodi lenz | October 03, 2007 at 08:26 PM
Dear Simmy
I'm so glad you have decided to continue blogging. I only comment occasionally, but I always enjoy reading your blog, and was so sad to hear you were going through a crisis of confidence. Being a mum is the best job in the world, but it can be very difficult sometimes. Your children are the most important thing in your life but you are also important and if you need to blog and craft for your sanity, in the long run your children will benefit.
Oh - and my favourite hymn is "Hills of the North, Rejoice" http://www.oremus.org/hymnal/h/h252.html.
Take care
Posted by: Denise | October 03, 2007 at 08:55 PM
Simmy's back! Your porch is looking good as is your nature table and baked potato skins! I have always loved 'we plough the fields and scatter'. I don't have an i-pod or a mobile phone. I may get 'with it' one day!
Posted by: simone | October 04, 2007 at 11:37 AM
LOts of hugs Simmy, so glad you're back...a little peek now and again is better than no stories from the garden. The newly weds are settling in, lots of changes for them with new jobs etc. Megan made me laugh and laugh, she is complaining about having "no time to myself, Mom" with a home of her own, new husband and boss to keep happy! Just wait until there are little ones in the mix too!
Posted by: Mary Ann/ca | October 04, 2007 at 01:45 PM
So glad you're sticking with it Simmy, I am not very religious but I absolutely love hymns, I love we plough the fields and scatter, but one of my favourite is All Hail the Power of Jesus' name, its so daft cos I went and googled for the words and now I'm sobbing all over the keyboard, sentimental old fool! I think we can't be that far apart in age either, I was a 1970 baby! and I love all the tunes you downloaded!
Posted by: jo | October 04, 2007 at 04:33 PM
What a lovely long post. Thanks for your e-mail and I'm glad you decided to continue blogging on your own terms. It's the only way! Loved the Knight won his spurs on youtube - had me welling up. Also prompted me to ask my daughter what they sang for harvest festival assembly today. Think of a world without any flowers and God who made the earth...careth for me. That made me teary too just thinking of my baby singing those words! I have many fav hymns but can never remember the titles. Sometimes I can't even sing them because they make me cry and I have to stand and grip the pew in front and pretend to cough!! have you tried the Garrison Keillor podcast of Lake Wobegon Days. I love it and do the housework with my new ipod shuffle on giggling away like a maniac. This is the link http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/about/podcast/
Posted by: Barbara | October 04, 2007 at 05:00 PM
oh i LOVE hymns also, but being american the ones i know are different than the ones you know. but for what it's worth, my 2 favourites are "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" and "Lead Kindly Light".
Posted by: Tola | October 04, 2007 at 08:27 PM
We're on a wavelength, Simmy. I've been trying to think how to use your blanket. Stop by to see what I did with the marigold piece.
All good wishes, Cristina
Posted by: Cristina | October 05, 2007 at 02:58 PM
So very glad to see you back...and o know that you'll still be here--HOORAY! Glad you've had some time to thing and mull things over...and to feel ok again. Such fun to hear that's been going on. And the new addition to the house looks great! Happy weekend to you all ((HUGS)) I'm off to America next week! :o)
Posted by: Tracy | October 05, 2007 at 06:55 PM
Happily, what you love to do is a joy for the rest of us to read. I will have to buy a bigger mug so my coffee last longer, I'm collecting bloggs to read!
Your home looks beautiful and as for religion, I think a healthy mix is just fine:) I love so many festivals and enjoy each new season so much. I think spring and autumn are my favourites, all that new life in Spring, and all the beautiful colours of Autumn, not to mention kicking up falling leaves, decorating with nuts and seeds, making jam and warming up with hot chocolate and cinnamon:)Having said that, I caught the sun on my face working in the garden today!
Hope those 'buttons' are getting a rest. I was asked to walk a bit away from one teen daughter today, and I was dressed conservatively for a change!!
Posted by: Lunar | October 05, 2007 at 07:55 PM
Nice to see you keeping the blog. All of us Mamma's need to have a little bit of room for ourselves to help keep the fire alight if you know what I mean.
Posted by: Qalballah | October 06, 2007 at 04:48 PM
great to see you back. We missed you! Onward Christian Soldiers is one fo my faves - then there is make me a channel of your peace - wonderful - i could go on - but must stop this work avoidance and get on with some work!
Posted by: liz | October 06, 2007 at 05:32 PM
It's good to see that you've chosen to continue to blog :0)
Posted by: dottyspots | October 06, 2007 at 09:40 PM
Excellent to have you back. :) Take it easy and be kind to yourself. Plough the Fields is not so much a hymn as a national anthem I think, can you imagine if they sang it at the start of a football match...'for it is fed and waaaaorrtered....'
Posted by: PG | October 07, 2007 at 12:30 PM
It's good to know that you're still here Simmy. I love hymns too although I'm not religious and never go to church but I remember singing them at school and my favourite has always been 'When a knight won his spurs in the stories of old..." too!! I shall think of you now when it pops into my head (which is surprisingly often!) all the best x
Posted by: julie | October 08, 2007 at 07:29 PM
welcome back himmy!!!! knew you wouldn't go too far and i am glad you didn't! mmmm, like the idea of loading a podcast onto the i pod and walking. with summer approaching i have zippered shut my yap (as they say on deadwood!)
xxx
Posted by: louise | October 08, 2007 at 09:28 PM
Simmy-
I enjoy listening to Craftlit, This American Life, Sticks and String, and Cast on. (and many more..)
Happy to see you will continue blogging. I enjoy reading your thoughtful posts.
Have a great week!
I am off to plan the family latern walk, do you have any song suggestions? The only one I know is This Little Light of Mine.
peace
Posted by: michele | October 08, 2007 at 10:54 PM
Simmy, I have been planning on commenting for days, but life somehow got in the way. I know you know how that happens all too well!!! Glad you tried out the potato skins. Hopefully you liked them and they made up for the forgotten cake...not like anything can really make up for a lack of cake though ... Love the nature table as well. How wonderful! Ohh, and your ipod cover! Simply FABULOUS! Makes me want to buy an ipod! Perhaps I can persuade Santa Claus to bring me one! I did miss you and am glad you have decided to post at least once in a while. We all need things that are just ours you know, and blogging does that for me. It helps to satisfy some inner creative longing of mine in a way nothing else really does. I love your words, as always. Reading them is like having a visit with a good friend, only thing missing is, well ... the cake! (every pun intended!)
Posted by: Marie | October 10, 2007 at 07:53 AM
I stumbled across your blog and I just love it. Your home and garden will be lovely soon, but of course I'm partial to stony English buildings. Keep up the fabulous photos of "Things English".
Posted by: Laura | October 13, 2007 at 12:25 AM
I have a real fondness for hymns, but I find it a bit hard here because although the words are the same, the tunes are often different (I grew up in the US). Especially hard at Christmas, as even after 15 years, some of the tunes still sound just plain WRONG. I like hymns almost enough to consider going to church, but not quite :)
Posted by: Kate | October 13, 2007 at 10:50 PM